10/10/13 So it seems that I have made a “Dent” in my infertility. Unfortunately it is only a dent. I would’ve much preferred to shatter it, crack it, fracture it…you get the point. Yesterday I had a faint, but distinct pink line on my FRER. For those of you who have been dealing with infertility, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You also know that pink lines don’t come along if there isn’t something going on. I’ve seen the grey evaporation lines, but never in five years, have I seen a second pink line on a natural cycle. NEVER. This is both a good and a bad thing today. It’s good because it means that after only two months, something that I am doing is making a difference. It is bad because today the FRER was back to the usual stark white. Nothing to see here folks! Just like that, it’s done.
For a day, I got to live the dream of a person dealing with long-term infertility who finally had their miracle. We’ve all heard of them. Every fertile person seems to “know someone who got pregnant by accident” after going through infertility treatments. I hate to say that it’s par for the course, but it is. There are a lot of us who don’t get to treat conception casually. We test before we miss periods, we stare at pregnancy tests in any kind of light in the hopes that we will see SOMETHING, we are ridiculously in-tune with our reproductive organs and we make note of every twinge that comes when we think implantation could occur . And we do this for years. It was great for just one day to think that I might have broken the mold. Silly me.
Anyway, I will try to focus on the silver lining, which is the dent in my infertility. I will keep doing what I am doing in the hopes that next time I shatter this bullshit and have my happy ending. Onward!